Yesterday I got released from the hosptial at approximentally 4:00 pm after spending the 4 full previous days in the hospital. As I sat on the couch breathing fresh air from the draft near the door I could not help but to cry a little off and on with on one thing in mind.....
April 25th @ Milwakee Area Technical College
After being released from the hosptial for lung surgery which removed cancer cells from my lungs, I immediately began emotionally thinking about my come back to the baseball field.
I am 23 yrs old and have worked too damn hard to back to where I am athletically, only to have it ripped from me and my lungs dug into. The amputation of my left foot and the rounds of chemotherapy were hard, however I think this surgery has already taken the most physical toll. I have no desire to play college baseball next year or to hold off on this, it is NOW or never.
Why April 25th? The amputation of my left foot took place April 26th of last year and...well....we dont play that day, so I am making my intentions on the day before.
I cant write much more right now as Im a little fired about this. Eventually I will write about my latest experience in the hospital and possibly on the emotional toll it usually takes, and the physical toll of my recovery.
Stay tuned for now and pray and look forward to April 25th....sooner if Gods strength allows it.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Baseball Scars
The inspiration for this blogs title came through a song by The Road Hammers. In the song, they sing the following lyrics:
"i went too far I went too fast i’d light a fire, just to walk right through it.
busted bones, dreams and tears, tattoo my heart like souvenirs
life is just a word till you go through it, i’ve got the scars to prove it"
The song makes me reflect on my life and my battle with Cancer as well as my journey to get back on the baseball field, and also my journey with God. For those who do not know me well, my life revolved around baseball for 22 years. Even to this day, it invades my thoughts, feelings, and deepest emotions. Regardless of what life has thrown at me, it has been a constant source of hapiness in my life, and that forever connecting bond between my father and I. I am also a very competitive guy, with a firey past on the baseball diamond that includes ejections, scuffles, and a napolean like syndrome when in the batters box or on the mound. The game has shown the best of me, and all too often the worst of me as a person. It has tested my character time and time again, and just like the song lyrics above has played a part in busted dreams and tears. It also happens to go hand and hand with two of my three tattoos. Looking back on all of my years I have played, and the comeback I am hoping and working dilligently at to complete I see how God has used this game to shape me, and build a fire in me.......to many, baseball is just a game till you go through it, I've got the scars to proove it.
Current Situation: If you are new to my blog and do not know me, you will find out all that this blog is about my clicking the "about me" section on the right of this page. Friday morning I will be having my 4th Cancer related surgery in the last 12 months. I will be having surgery to remove, what doctors believe to be cancer (sarcoma) cells that have traveled or possibly originated in my lungs. The surgery will cause me to lose around or less then 15% of my lung function. Both athletically, and physically I am told this will not be a problem.
I am told I will need a month to recover, and it may be a couple before I feel full strength. It is my intention to take the week off from actively participating in baseball practices at Western Technical College. From there, I will give it an addition week if need be, and regardless of pain I plan to begin lightly throwing and swinging a bat again. It remains my goal to play college baseball this season and I am shooting for an April return.
Please include you me in your prayers, for nothing is possible without the strength of the Lord.
In this blog you can expect to see ........ more truth, and honest writtings about the situation at hand, as well as storys of past life lessons learned on the baseball diamond and how I feel God has used them to shape me, and how HE is now the focus on my life.
Thanks for reading and please check back soon!
Boz
"i went too far I went too fast i’d light a fire, just to walk right through it.
busted bones, dreams and tears, tattoo my heart like souvenirs
life is just a word till you go through it, i’ve got the scars to prove it"
The song makes me reflect on my life and my battle with Cancer as well as my journey to get back on the baseball field, and also my journey with God. For those who do not know me well, my life revolved around baseball for 22 years. Even to this day, it invades my thoughts, feelings, and deepest emotions. Regardless of what life has thrown at me, it has been a constant source of hapiness in my life, and that forever connecting bond between my father and I. I am also a very competitive guy, with a firey past on the baseball diamond that includes ejections, scuffles, and a napolean like syndrome when in the batters box or on the mound. The game has shown the best of me, and all too often the worst of me as a person. It has tested my character time and time again, and just like the song lyrics above has played a part in busted dreams and tears. It also happens to go hand and hand with two of my three tattoos. Looking back on all of my years I have played, and the comeback I am hoping and working dilligently at to complete I see how God has used this game to shape me, and build a fire in me.......to many, baseball is just a game till you go through it, I've got the scars to proove it.
Current Situation: If you are new to my blog and do not know me, you will find out all that this blog is about my clicking the "about me" section on the right of this page. Friday morning I will be having my 4th Cancer related surgery in the last 12 months. I will be having surgery to remove, what doctors believe to be cancer (sarcoma) cells that have traveled or possibly originated in my lungs. The surgery will cause me to lose around or less then 15% of my lung function. Both athletically, and physically I am told this will not be a problem.
I am told I will need a month to recover, and it may be a couple before I feel full strength. It is my intention to take the week off from actively participating in baseball practices at Western Technical College. From there, I will give it an addition week if need be, and regardless of pain I plan to begin lightly throwing and swinging a bat again. It remains my goal to play college baseball this season and I am shooting for an April return.
Please include you me in your prayers, for nothing is possible without the strength of the Lord.
In this blog you can expect to see ........ more truth, and honest writtings about the situation at hand, as well as storys of past life lessons learned on the baseball diamond and how I feel God has used them to shape me, and how HE is now the focus on my life.
Thanks for reading and please check back soon!
Boz
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